How do you relate to God? Have you believed the good news (Gospel) of His Son Jesus? Further, are you continuing in the Gospel, or has the Christian life become all about religion to you?
How are you motivated? By fear or by love? Do you enjoy God? Do you obey Him order to be accepted? Or, because you are accepted by Him do you then obey?

It is a summary of Gospel-centered teachings by Tim Keller, given in table form by The Journey Church in St. Louis. I come back to it time and time again.
I’ve walked with God, have been born of God when I was 15. I have been taught by the holy spirit. I Have seen the world through the eyes of the Holy Spirit. I have been edified and I have been brought low. I’ve felt one in all and I have felt separated. In short, it’s been ups and downs that through the years have decreased in intensity.
Now, thirty years later, I’m just tired of the whole thing. I have not been edified for many, many years. I feel like, because of my shortcomings and failures that God apparently is not going to invest any of his “good stuff” in me anymore.
All I seem to get is toil and inconveniences day to day. I’m very down. I don’t want to be tested anymore or go through any end time traumas, I just want to be left alone. I know this is not a very fruitful attitude but very few things I do seem to turn out right. I feel like my efforts are sabotaged by Providence time and again and I just wish I could be left alone now.