5 from 50: a brief memoir

This week I embark on a new adventure as a pastor. It almost seems surreal to me. Really, I get to do full-time what I have felt God calling us to and shaping us for a decade? Is this for real? Kari and I have had glimpses and tremendous opportunities to serve in the Gospel, pastoring others (as a verb, not noun). Now the stakes are heightened.

• Tomorrow I’ll share 5 lessons learned over these last 50 months . For now, here are five signposts along the journey to being a pastor (stretching back before these last 4+ years).

In 1998 I first sensed Christ’s call to enter the ministry. My heart and mind was electrified as a sophomore at OSU, an engineering student, and oh so fed up with how far behind I was spiritually. In that day, specifically Super Bowl weekend in late January, He ignited in me a spark that grew larger and larger, coupled with an insatiable desire for God’s Word. Those college years and serving in the local church and on the OSU campus were invaluable experiences. Many lessons learned, lots of failure. More grace. The relational connections made still remain firmly intact. The Gospel was our chief unifying reality. I have been blessed to see fellow students, and then my own students from Real Life and the School of Ministry forge ahead in their part of God’s grand story.

In 2003 I was graciously enabled to marry the woman of my dreams. Kari, I l. No matter what "success" I achieve as a pastor, my first duty is to be a faithful husband and loving father. Before God, let all these other things serve to reinforce that trajectory, not divert from it. Without you, Dutch, and now Heidi, this journey would not be worth taking.

Fifty months ago (2004) Kari and I took the plunge and moved to another state for the sake of my becoming a pastor in the official sense for the first time. Until then I had been "pastoring" in many ways, and while I knew the title would not add an inch to my stature, it was to be a significant jump in responsibility before God and men. And boy was it. Nothing like we imagined, and I never did became a "pastor" in the official sense. We felt "shelved." But God broke me, and rebuilt me again to be the kind of man who loves Him more than a title and is willing to suffer for the Gospel. People became real to me. The Gospel went deeper. Christ became huge, more than adequate and satisfying. We look back fondly on that season now with the vantage point of having come through it. Warren Wiersbe in On Being a Servant of God reminds us to not ask God to get us out of our trials, but to ask Him, "What do You want me to get out of this trial?" God had a whole different plan for us, a crucible of what seemed like an endless string of disappointments. Our character needed it. I thank Him for it — without reservation — and would not for a million dollars trade any of those experiences. Please don’t sign me up for it again, our good Father, but I would not go back and chart a different course.

In 2005 we came back to Oregon, continuing in a career of construction management  in construction for my good friend Ben was the sweet spot of God’s will for us at the time. As were were a growing company, and I needed to gain credibility with the crew, I took to being the lowest grunt of the lot, moving aluminum shoring and pipes, and finally getting some good callouses from hands fully engaged in some good manual labor. Installing sewer lines 8 feet below the ground surface and mortoring up manholes was a crucible for learning. I remember the guys often asking me during lunch, "They didn’t teach you that in college, eh, Mr. Civil Engineer!?" I thank them for it. During the process I learned that nothing is secular, the construction workers need the Gospel just like I do, and that all circumstances are "sacred" in that they are meant to be used for worshipping God. Without those "silent years" we would not be here (positionally, and certainly not ready in our character). I learned to practice God’s joy in all of life, especially the mundane things. That is why I plead with people to find their identity in Christ alone and not in what they do. Funny to thing back how my move into the office became official when on the eve of Thanksgiving I ran over my left foot with the Jeep Wrangler. (Yeah, it really hurt, and I walk with a slight limp today.)

Also in 2005 we also became students again. A couple years earlier we had wanted to go to seminary (in Chicago, we thought), but Christ had some pre-graduate school preparation for us (see above). Now, we were able to do this together , both as students, and those Friday-only classes and one night course during that first year at Multnomah was a unique experience. Not sure how we managed the 90 minute commute both ways (fuel was much cheaper), but that time did serve to be like mini "dates" for Kari and I. We entered seminary as a young married couple, and when Kari graduates this year she will have given birth to two children while a student. (She’s incredible, by the way…)

So much more could be said. Dutch was born around Christmas 2006, and our lives have been changed for the better because of him. Last year we lived with Kari’s parents, on purpose, and it was a tremendous experience for Dutch. For us, it showed us how much we love family, need them, and love to live on our own again Without it, we would have had to quit seminary. The last year of interning with Foothills Community Church has been mightily used of God. He reprogrammed me in many ways, especially relationally, bringing out lessons and things from our experiences through Pastor Dale’s care and mentoring. Again, without them, we would not be who and where we are today.

Some may be thinking — are they done with seminary? Not exactly. Kari will finish her last class in December and then graduate in May with a MA in Pastoral Studies with a concentration in Women’s Ministry. I will close out this semester, take a bit off, and then (probably, open to revision, as the above story proves!) take one class at a time when possible. Since pastoring (again, a verb) and serving the local church was and is the "end goal," seminary has served that purpose in part, and I hope to see it continue towards an MDiv (at least 2/3 complete now). We wouldn’t be here without Multnomah , in more ways than one. We love our professors, the staff, fellow students, and alums!

(Okay, this is six…) Today Christ has more of me than He did back then. Some like to talk about returning to their first love (see Rev. 2 ). For me, returning to that teeny, tiny love would be going backwards, for my vision of Christ and seeing as the ultimate cause, reason, object and satisfaction of my life is far greater today than it was then. Truly, all of life is preparation .

Helping others know, love and enjoy God above all else,

JP