A Hearing Heart

Recently I shared this quote from Matt Perman:

Listening is not simply, or mainly, hearing what the other person is saying. It is thinking about what they are saying, and doing so from their point of view.

Implication: This includes a willingness to be influenced by others. If you are generally unaffected by what other people say, you aren’t listening.

Then I sent it to my theologian (and pastor) friend Adam. Here’s his brief biblical reflection, since he doesn’t blog himself:

I like these statements, they remind me of Proverbs 18:2 and 18:13. Here are some more thoughts for the conversation:

I think that “Listening” is the main theme of the Parable of the Sower (Mark 4; Matt, 13). Since this is the first parable, it functions importantly as a kind of gateway parable into Jesus’ teaching on the Kingdom. Check out Mark 4 (akuo is the first and the last word of his initial telling of the parable to the crowds; and it is the only word in the imperative mood). It is literally this “hearing heart” that Solomon prayed for in his famous request for wisdom (1 Kings 3) Listening is a fundamental activity that characterizes entrance and continuation of life as a disciple of Jesus in His kingdom. Surely, a key discipline for disciples is the cultivation of a listening ear. As in the parable, those who fail to listen fail to bear fruit. A spiritually deaf disciple is a dead disciple. All of this highlights the importance of listening.

As to the nature of listening, it seems that a ‘willingness to listen from the speaker’s perspective’ highlights a potential sense or aspect of what true “listening” is, but this aspect still does not capture the bulk idea of a theology of listening. The primary idea seems to be more of a receptive and teachable heart (see also James 1:22; receiving the word with meekness). The Scriptures also speak of the nobility of the Bereans [Acts 17:11] for the discernment in which they listened. We must guard against both naivety and unreceptivity in our listening.

There are a cluster of virtues that seem to characterize healthy listening, such as: humility, honesty, love for and hunger for truth, and respect for others. Cultivating these virtures is likely to make one a better listener.

Final thought, on a practical note perhaps it is wise to distinguish between how we treat ideas and people. Namely, be critical with ideas. Be charitable with people.

Well said, Adam!

If you want to learn more for Adam, think about attending Cornerstone School of Ministry in Corvallis, Oregon, where he serves as Director and a church Elder and Pastor. I’m grateful for the opportunity to visit as a guest lecturer from time to time, and used to teach there regularly.