Recently I wrote a paper, and the professor especially liked one section I wrote:

"… two things become apparent to me. One, God does not use lazy people. And two, those who are greatly used by God realize that it does not depend upon them.  Dwelling in and enjoying the tension of this apparent paradox has been my short journey as a servant and child of God."

The paper was about relationships among church leaders, and one pillar of camaraderie I wrote about was diligence . There is no substitute for hard work, and hard working people gain more fuel from the journey by coming into contact with one another. Yet, for all our hard work, we release that this work of God depends upon Him, not us. A person  around me for any length of time knows I love to swim the depths of what I call "happy tensions," the paradoxes of the universe worth exploring.

Consider the happy tension the Apostle Paul writes of (in v. 29 esp.):

"24 Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I am filling up what is lacking in Christ’s afflictions for the sake of his body, that is, the church, 25 of which I became a minister according to the stewardship from God that was given to me for you, to make the word of God fully known, 26 the mystery hidden for ages and generations but now revealed to his saints. 27 To them God chose to make known how great among the Gentiles are the riches of the glory of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory. 28 Him we proclaim, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone mature in Christ. 29 For this I toil, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me. " ( Colossians 1:24-29 )

He was diligent beyond himself by an energy beyond himself. Oh the happy tension of a life lived in the power of God Almighty!

Here are the top five lessons I (think I) have learned over this past 50 month journey and beyond. All are interconnected:

1. People are more important that what they do. Personalizing it: I am not what I do . That is, my identity is rooted in Christ, not my performance. I work from significance in Christ, not for it, as the Gospel would have it. (Repeat that last sentence with me! This message never grows old, and must be the cornerstone of a daily life. We must preach that application of the Christ’s glorious grace to ourselves every day.) In this season, I had to learn to do a few things well. To be fine with not being a perfectionist (okay, I am a recovering one). To release myself from forming a tiny view of life, all centered on me and what I am doing. I was a chronic do-er five years ago, and will never be that again, by the grace of God. Reality is, I work harder now, more efficiently, and am more content to simply BE, motivated by the Gospel.
2. Life is meant to have rhythm. Walking in step with the Spirit is a relationship worth fighting like heaven to keep vital. He is the One working in me to fulfill God’s ultimate purposes. Some people like to refer to life as being in "balance," and I probably should like that word as an engineer-type. It sounds so mathematical. Yet, it fails to see life in proper perspective, for we are not weighing things against one another (the definition of balance), but seeing them come together in harmony. Some like to pit propositional statements of faith against the story of faith. Jesus against Paul. The Bible against the Spirit. Truth versus experience. That’s utter foolishness. They are not against one another, but serve one another in love. Inexplicably connected. For example, in the Gospel rhythms, my job does not compete with my family.They are interwoven in a beautiful work of art by the Father, Son and Spirit.
3. GOD is the Gospel ( tag | search ). If there is one message I hope to bring to the local church, it is this one (along with the view that the Gospel is for all of life, even for Christians). I read the book by that title in 2006 while on hiatus from seminary (Kari was pregnant, I focused on working to provide for us). Lightning struck my soul. It is essentially 180 pages of meditation on two primary verses: 2 Corinthians 4:4,6 . Wow. All things exist and move towards the public display of God’s infinite worth (His glory). Since God Himself is the great good of the Gospel, entering into relationship like Him is like diving into a pool, not just off a diving board. As God is meant to permeate all of life, the Gospel is meant for all of life (like a living room, as opposed to simply the doorway to new life).
4. All of life is preparation. God will, as a loving Father, use every means possible shape us into the image of His Son ( Romans 8:28-30 , Hebrews 12 ). This process of sanctification (purifying) is deep and lasting, and cannot happen without pain, tragedy, relationships (including conflict and resolution) triumphs, and dependence. As a single man I began to see the need for Lamentations 3:25-33 and Habakkuk 3:17-19 become reality in my own life, asking God to shape me into the kind of man who praises Him no matter the circumstance. Doing that deep work requires preparation, which requires suffering. From a broken vertebrae that remains today, to relational brokenness, to physical pain in my feet, to disappoints of various sorts, there is no end to the design of God’s good for us through these experiences.
5. My life is meant to be wrapped about God’s story, not Him around mine. This couples with the others, and specifically #4, as God’s story is simply bigger than teeny, tiny me. That is because the Gospel is not merely good advice. It is the Good News — check that — the best news possible, that Jesus Christ, the Righteous One, died for our sins and rose again, eternally triumphant over all His enemies, so that there is now no condemnation for those who believe in Him, but only everlasting joy in God. Thus, God and His Word are the ultimate reality. I don’t apply the Bible to my life, I rather press my life into His Word, applying my life to Him. This is more than semantics, for each of us is prone to by default live for the glory of ourselves, to seek to further our own kingdom. I am a servant of King Jesus. I am part of His Kingdom. He holds the keys to the future, and I gladly submit to His leading, whatever that entails. As all good story feature conflict and resolution, the Grand Story of the Bible being played out in the universe by the Triune God is the best possible mixture of both.
6. (Just like yesterday there are six. Forgive me.) Faithfulness is our part, fruitfulness is God’s. Actually, our faithfulness is enabled by His ( Phil. 2:12-13; 1 John 5:3 ). Kari and I remind one another weekly that our home and family is the first ministry. Being faithful starts here. For whatever "success" I find in vocation, in being a pastor, in whatever, it is worthless if I fail as a faithful husband and loving father. That is the definition of success.

From these lessons I formed the chief objective of my life: To help everyone breathing know the one and only Triune God, in Christ, better than they know anyone or anything else, and to love and enjoy Him together more than anyone or anything else in all the world.

Ever a life-long learner (through all eternity), swimming in the depths of the Gospel and seeing how necessary these truths are, and looking for more to discover.

“Transitioning One’s Soul to Finish the Day Well”

The entire story is now up:
Ch. 1: The Phone Call | Ch. 2: The U-turn | Ch. 3: The Jeep | Ch. 4: The Apartment | Ch. 5: The Meeting | Ch. 6: The Rack | Ch. 7: The Barium Vials | Ch. 8: The Interview | Ch. 9: The Coffee Shop | Ch. 10: The Memorial Service | Ch. 11: The Seifers | Ch. 12: The Right Stuff | Ch. 13: The Acropolis | Ch. 14: The Home Fellowship | Ch. 15: The Settlers of Catan | Ch. 16: The Valentine Dinner | Ch. 17: The SonShiners | Ch. 18: The Road Home | The Epilogue

The Life of David Brainerd (Unabridged) by Jonathan Edwards

• Be sure to use the coupon code OCT2007

I cannot recommend this book more highly. In fact, if I ever get my copy back, after someone borrowed it , I will read this book again, and again, and again. For now, I’ll listen to it.

This book was chiefly compiled and expanded from Brainerd’s own daily journal by Jonathan Edwards, who was affected mightily by the young missionary. Although Brainerd died at the young age of 29 — of tuberculosis in Edwards’ house — his passion and deep communion with God has since been contagious for more than two centuries of missionaries. Get to know David Brainerd! (And remember, he isn’t a quick read. Be patient, mull over what he says, and apply it to your heart and soul.)

Another great resource: John Piper biographical message (1990):
Oh, That I May Never Loiter On My Heavenly Journey! Reflections on the Life and Ministry of David Brainerd

Also, a book: The Hidden Smile of God: The Fruit of Affliction in the Lives of John Bunyan, a William Cowper, and David Brainerd (The Swans Are Not Silent, 2)

A few quotes from Brainerd’s journal:

And if you would glorify God, or answer his just expectations from you, and make your own soul happy in this and the coming world, observe these few directions; though not from a father, yet from a brother who is touched with a tender concern for your present and future happiness.

First, Resolve upon, and daily endeavour to practise, a life of seriousness and strict sobriety.

Further, Take heed that you faithfully perform the business you have to do in theworld, from a regard to the commands of God; and not from an ambitious desire of being esteemed better than others.

Once more, Never think that you can live to God by your own power or strength; but always look to and rely on him for assistance, yea, for all strength and grace.

We should always look upon ourselves as God’s servants, placed in God’s world, to do his work; and accordingly labour faithfully for him; not with a design to grow rich and great, but to glorify God, and do all the good we possibly can.

When you cease from labour, fill up your time in reading, meditation, and prayer: and while your hands are labouring, let your heart be employed, as much as possible, in divine thoughts.

Worldly pleasures, such as flow from greatness, riches, honours, and sensual gratifications, are infinitely worse than none.

As I plunge into the depths of seminary training once again I am reminded that faithfulness in the “small” things is what pleases God most. The “big” things will take care of themselves when I am faithful in the little details and when no one is watching. So often success is defined by the big outcome, but this quote reminded me that as I venture deeper in my studies and the long arduous road (of Greek vocab and verb paradigm memorization, for example) this simple reality remains true:

Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.
- Robert Collier

{HT: SmartPastor}