"We conclude, therefore, that a Christian lives not in himself, but in Christ and in his neighbor. Otherwise he is not a Christian. He lives in Christ through faith, in his neighbor through love. By faith he is caught up beyond himself into God. By love he descends beneath himself into his neighbor."
- Martin Luther, On Christian Liberty
Five years ago today Kari Zyp and I exchanged vows, and then I got to kiss the love of my life for the very first time. What an amazing time it has been, my Sauce. We’ve had our adventures: moving 7 times, living in two states, both following the call to seminary as students, raising Dutch, continuing to serve our Lord Jesus Christ, and being able to know, love and enjoy Him oh so much more because of one another.
Sauce, I love you! I told you back then that I want to plunge the depths of who you are, and that passion has not and will not fade. You are cherished and loved!
Because 5 is not enough to convey how much my Sauce is worth (well, nor is 55!) …
(Had to cut off quite a few just to keep the list short.)
“God did not create us to get the cosmic, infinite joy of mutual love and glorification, but to share it. We were to join in the dance. If we center our lives on him, serving him not out of self-interest, but for the sake of who he is, for the sake of his beauty and glory, we will enter the dance and share in the joy and love he lives in. We were designed, then, not just for belief in God in some general way, nor for a vague kind of inspiration or spirituality. We were made to center our lives upon him, to make the purpose and passion of our lives knowing, serving, delighting, and resembling him. This growth in happiness will go on eternally, increasing unimaginably (1 Corinthians 2:7-10 ).”
- Timothy Keller, The Reason For God (New York, NY: Dutton, 2008), 219.
I caught on fire the morning I asked Kari to marry me. Literally.
It was Monday morning, February 24th, 2003 — five years ago today.
(I encourage all to read Kari’s rendition of it, as she’s a much better story teller than I am!)
Monday was our weekly day off, so the regular plan was to drive over to Kari’s apartment in the morning, picking her up at about 8 o’clock and then head to the gym to work out.
That morning when I picked her up she was uncharacteristically late and slow — she obviously had no idea of the imminent plans I had for us. I told her that some friends needed our help that morning, and since we were dressed in our grubby clothes that would be a good time to do some dirty work.
There was an old fraternity our ministry had begun to use, which was being renovated. Friends of ours, a married couple, lived there during the remodeling, and I told Kari that they needed our help.
The night before I had been so anxious I couldn’t sleep. Had even locked my keys in my car, and that morning my car ran out of gas on the way to pick Kari up. I ran to the gas station and then to the old fraternity to prepare a memorable scene. Lots of candles, an open Bible, some communion elements, a stereo playing some of our favorite songs, and a Lite-Brite. Yep, A Lite-Brite.
With the ring in pocket hidden in my pocket, we arrived at the old fraternity and walked downstairs. Kari was a little curious as to why music was playing in the basement, and then we walked around the corner. She was stunned. A plethora of candles (now she realized why I was in such a hurry earlier), our favorite songs, and the elements of communion. We walked over to the makeshift altar and then I diverted her attention, “What’s that over there?…” She looked over to the previously hidden corner and say the Lite-Brite emblazoned in the darkness, “WILL YOU MARRY ME?”
She turned around and I was on bended knee, ring in hand. She didn’t say a word, but then shrieked Yes! and we hugged (our first kiss would wait until our wedding day). It was a joyous time. We danced to the music, then I read some Scriptures to her about marriage and read the framed letter I had written:
My dearest Karina,
I love and adore you. God has sovereignly placed you in my life. May I ever live to serve you, love you, and put you before myself. You bring the sweetest of all joys into my life, and have caused my personal devotion to our Creator Jesus Christ to be multiplied. God’s amazing grace is so obviously upon you life — it’s contatgios and I desire to be a part of it. He shows me mercy, grace and abundant kindness in you; His favor is make obvious by your abiding presence in my life. May His Holy Spirit always lead us. I would be honored above all other honors to by your loving husband, your servant, and your constant companion. In sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, for all times.
Will you marry me?
(That frame still sits in our bathroom as a reminder of the covenant of marriage and the enabling of God.)
And then the scened heated up. We sat there on the concrete floor leaning against the fireplace mantle, the candles behind us. We were bowed in prayer and then I stopped and yelled, “I’m on fire! I’m on fire!” Indeed I was. My long-sleeve shirt had caught fire from one of the candles and Kari was able to pat the flames out. A nice welt was on my shoulder blade and a 3-inch diameter hole in my shirt. I was on fire for my fiancee!
Why at 8:00am on a Monday morning?
Well, first of all Monday was our day off from college ministry, so I wanted as much time with her that day, especially with her ring on and rejoicing in one another and God’s goodness.
But the better reason is that I wanted Kari to know that I love the real her … no make-up, wearing grubby clothes, and purely herself. She is the one woman I desire and long to share the rest of my life with.
The last five years have been the best of my life!
“A person who has a knowledge of doctrine and theology only–without religious affection–has never engaged in true religion.”
– Jonathan Edwards
I ran across this quote from a book I hope to one day read. Charles Drew in his new book A Journey Worth Taking, writes:
“Church” is not an event. It is people–people whom God calls us to love. What is more, it is in a very important sense an involuntary community of people: we don’t choose our brothers and sisters–God does. And sometimes (oftentimes) those people are not terribly compatible with us–not the people we would choose to hang out with. But it is this very incompatibility that is so important, for at least two reasons. First, learning to love the people I don’t like is by far the best way to learn how to love (it’s easy to love people I happen to like). Second, the church is supposed to be a sociological miracle–a demonstration that Jesus has died and risen to create a new humanity composed of all sorts of people. [HT: Tim Challies]
How opposite is that view of church (as people > event) with this list I came across for the reasons they go to church (quoting another person):
I think that list gives somewhat the gist of why I went to church when I first became a Christian in college (I realize #7 above was given tongue-in-cheek). But then my heart and mind began to be captivated with God, to be enthralled with Christ, and I could not get enough of Him. And then I began to grow and see the contribution I can make to others in the church.
We don’t “go to” church or “do” church but rather have been redeemed to be the church, to be the called out one’s (Greek understanding of ekklesia) assembled together at various times (Jewish understanding of ekklesia), organized in various ways to fulfill Christ’s mission for us with Him here on earth. At some time He will call us home to glory, but until then let us not just “go to” church like we are playing church, but rather be the outworking of Christ’s hands and feet in our community, families, homes, and workplaces. All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to Him for the very reason (Matthew 28:18-20).
Owen Strachan recently wrote this thought-provoking post:
Seeking Honest Answers: Are You a Christian?
…. Here is a very short list of questions to ask those who claim to be saved but who show little evidence of such commitment. It’s not exhaustive but is intended to help start conversation.
Do you love God? In your heart, do you desire to follow Him, worship Him, and obey Him? Does your professed love for God stretch into action? Does it have any practical effect on your life? Would others characterize you as one who loves God? Do you adore God? Do you want to adore Him?
Do you love the Bible? Do you want to follow the One whom it reveals, Jesus Christ, and follow His commandments? Do you enjoy reading the Bible and take nourishment from it? Do you struggle to read it and possess little desire to obey it? Do you care about the Bible? Do you seek to understand how it should be interpreted, or do you care more about how it fits or does not fit with your natural prejudices and opinions? Do you believe that the Bible is true? Is it all true, or are only parts of it true?
Do you love Christians? Or are they like any other people group out there? Does your love take on a practical form? Do you love other Christians more than you love people from your background–your hometown, home state, college or university, athletic team, peer group? Do you desire to serve other Christians? Do you care when you hear about suffering Christians in other countries?
Do you love living out and sharing the gospel? Do you monetarily support other Christians in need? Do you share the gospel with lost people? Do you care if someone is lost? Is that a concern that comes quickly into your mind when talking with another person? Do you pray much for the salvation of lost sinners? Do you want people to be saved? Do you attempt to live out a Christian life in front of other people? Do you inconvenience yourself to present the gospel to others? Do you suffer in any form for the sake of the gospel? Or is your life free of the sting associated with vibrant Christianity lived out in a pagan world? Do you seek to win family members to Christ? Or do you assume they’re fine? Do you ask them penetrating questions or do you simply assume that they are saved? When dealing with others, are spiritual concerns first in your mind?
Do you enjoy church and draw nourishment from it? Is church endlessly boring to you? Do you like preaching? Do you see the need to be confronted about your sin? Do you avoid church in order to avoid being “judged” or “condemned”? Do you love interaction with other believers? Do you want to support the local church? Do you want to support missionaries? Does the spiritual good of other people concern you? Is it more important for you to do your favorite things on Sunday or to worship God with other believers? Do you continually struggle with finding the motivation to go to church? Do you want to go to church?
Does the matter of eternity concern you? Do you want to go to heaven? Do you not want to go to hell? Do you believe in heaven and hell? If so, does your belief take any actional form? Do you desire to go to heaven to worship God for eternity? Do you want to go to heaven because that’s where your favorite people and things are? Do you think about hell? Do you live as if eternity exists?
Does the Bible shape your ethics and morals? Or do you just go with what you feel at a gut level? Or what your parents told you? When there is conflict between your natural worldview and what the Bible says, which side wins? Do you ever change your mind as a result of reading the Bible? When making political, ethical, and moral decisions, do you consider scriptural teachings, or do you base your decisions on your moral sense? Do you want the Bible to shape your ethics? Or do you not really care? Does the Bible affect what you watch, read, and listen to? Or do you just assume everything’s fine? Do you ever avoid or turn off content that is biblically offensive? Do you care if content is moral or immoral in an explicitly biblical sense?
That’s a basic starting point. If used well, these questions could provide a starting point from which to engage people you love on the question of their Christianity. They claim it, but you see little fruit. Seek an opportunity to ask them these questions–or questions of your own–that get to the heart of the matter. Email these questions to someone, call a friend, pull aside a family member when you’re in town together. Listen well, be empathetic and understanding, and share the gospel.
Turn someone back from the edge.
(Owen posted a follow-up as well.)
Kari's latest Patterson Family Margin
